Hey there!
First, you know I have to thank you all for the wonderful warm comments, thoughts, cards, FB comments, prayers, just everything, it's been amazing how many people are thinking and praying for little old me! I just don't feel deserving, but I want you to know I am just so grateful!
I know God is listening and taking everything under advisement (haha). I know a few of you have some questions for Him right about now, but I don't. Although, I do have to say, it is a bit strange that you never hear of some mass murder or child predator or someone like that dying from some horrible disease....am I right? What's up with that? Well, the reason that I don't question God about my having Stage III breast/vascular cancer is because I just really believe that we are all put here on earth to do a job, you know, do something that is going to make a difference somehow. Maybe not, worldwide, save the earth kind of job, but we're all put here for a reason. I've ALWAYS thought my reason was one: Kaitlyn. She truly is the most incredible person I've ever met. She's draws these amazing pictures and has a beautiful voice and has a smile that lights up a room! She's truly beautiful inside and out. It was her and I for quite a long time and I know her so well. Much better than I'm sure she'd ever be willing to admit. And I know, mom's always think their kids are amazing and the best and rightly so. But Kaitlyn is just something different, something special. Those that know her, know she hasn't had the easiest life and a lot of that is because of me and poor decisions I've made. Everything I've done has been for her because quite frankly, she's the best thing I've ever done. I truly feel that God put me here on this earth so that SHE could be on this earth. Sure, at times, she's driven me crazy and I know I've driven her crazy, but we've NEVER doubted our love for each other and I remind myself of that when I'm frustrated after 6 hours of shopping for a prom dress. I'm so very grateful God let me have her and help her grow and I pray that He is happy with how I've raised her...mistakes and all. She is the love of my life. So, that's it, my work on earth was done! I had her, that was my reason.....
Then, I had Matthew. Really GOD? TWO PERFECT CHILDREN? Matthew, who is so incredibly full of life and so, so smart! He loves everything and everyone! Every sport and every musical instrument. Every dandelion and every dinosaur! He has the deepest chocolate brown eyes I've ever seen and when you look into them, you can see his soul. He brought home a plant that they had grown at preschool yesterday...and he named him Arthur. He had his dad go out to the car at 10:45pm last night to get Arthur out of the car because he was afraid Arthur would grow so big in the middle of the night that it would burst through the roof on dad's car and break it. So, he thought it would be best if he put it in his room next to Toby his fish, who could keep an eye on it during the night. Matthew never fails to make us smile, even on the worst days imaginable. So, as you can see, I have two loves of my life now. I remember when he was hospitalized when he was just two weeks old and crying to my mom. I remember telling her that when Matthew was born, I always wondered how long God would let me keep him. Well, Matthew will be turning 4 in just 2 weeks. I can hardly believe it, he's so beautiful!
So, no, I don't question God. I am grateful. Grateful He has given me these two amazing beautiful children to be here on earth and to be able to touch other people, each in their own way. I don't pray to God and ask Him to help me through this cancer (well admittedly I have called on Him a few times in ER with my migraine pain.) or to help me get past the chemo or vomiting, etc. I just pray to Him that my kids will stay safe and loved and cherished.
Love & Blessings to you all!
Lisa
On a side note: I am having chemo on Monday. At this point, they have decided to admit me into the hospital for a few days in order to try to control the violent vomiting, severe migraines and dehydration. I will have my blackberry, so you can still text me or FB me. If I don't answer...I'm a little preoccupied! lol
My last bloggy post ~
15 years ago
6 comments:
oh dear friend, what a sweet post to your children! I will be praying for you this Monday and I am glad that you will be at least where they can monitor and immediately see to those complications you have from chemo!
Psalm 27:14
"Wait for the LORD;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the LORD."
I pray for His strength for you and that His mercies will be ever new towards you Lisa! Sometimes this is all we can cling to but He is the best to cling to!
P.S. You look really cute with no hair! Seriously you don't need anything like a hat!
Hey Girlfriend,
Don't you just look the cutest without your locks. No one would even notice....cause you have such a wonderful smile. And that smile is because God has blessed you with two wonderful kids.
Keep your faith Sweetie...walkin' with the Lord is the best way to travel. Even beats a GPS....We have one and sometimes it messes up. With God there ain't no wrong ways.
Love your post about Kate and Matthew. They are special, but then one has to look at the Mom that is raising them.
You have been bless with Kate and Matthew and may He continue to bless you each and everyday in all of your tomorrows.
Love ya Sweetie,
Cuzzie Georgie
Hey Lil Sis!
I am sorry I haven't written on your blog in awhile but you know my life right now. LOL. What a beautiful blog Lisa. I am soooo proud of you and your attitude toward your challenges. You are a complete inspiration to us all. I soooo can't wait till your better so we can get together, laugh, share memories, etc. You should NEVER doubt you deserving all the good coming to you Lisa, you are an absolute beautiful person inside and out. Your children learned it from somewhere and we know where from.
Hang in there and I love you forever and ever.
Big Sis!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Dear Lisa, my name is Shari and we share a dear friend (Darla). She sent me your blog, because she was so inspired by you. I am a 3 1/2 year breast cancer survivor and I am so proud of you and your determination to fight. Remember, it is okay to cry, scream, be angry, etc... but never give up. I have 2 beautiful daughters and an amazing husband who stood by me every second. In our family our word is BELIEVE! You must always believe and that will give you the strength you need. It is because of our amazing family and friends that we can get through these difficult times. Keep that beautiful POSITIVE attitude of yours...it's also what helps your family and friends get through this with you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Take care of yourself!
p.s. It is not your hair that makes people love you so much. Your "pure" beauty is shining brightly for everyone to see.
I've heard that meditation can sometimes help with the nausea and headaches
I happen to find your blog while browsing through Blogspot.
My Mom is a survivor and your story sounds just like hers. The headaches and complications are about the same.
I am sending you good positive thoughts and since I didn't see a mention of a husband or boyfriend, I am praying that you have some other family members that are taking care of you and that you do not have to shoulder the burden of having to care for two sweet kids alone while being so sick.
Prayers from Virginia,
Ruth
Post a Comment