Rough Patch....

Well, I'm grateful that this weekend is just about over. It's definitely been rough the past few days. As many of you know, I've been battling with migraines for quite some time now and it appears that they have decided to persist. Late Thursday night my headaches started increasing. By Friday morning, I knew I was in trouble. I got Matthew ready and took him to school, but before I could even make it home, the vomiting started. It became uncontrollable, along with the pain, so Scot rushed me to the ER. They had done blood cultures and some test that I don't recall the name of, came back that I was at a 9% level of a serious infection. The doctor didn't want me to wait until Wednesday, when I see my oncologist, but insisted that I go back in to Urgent Care the next day to have more blood drawn to see where my level of infection was at. In any case, they spent 6 hours trying to get the vomiting and pain under control and finally released me.

Not 15 mins. after I got home, I started vomiting again. Every 15 mins for 5 1/2 hours. This of course brought my migraine right back to where it was, so late Friday night, it was back down to the ER. This time they admitted me and were worried about dehydration (obviously) and infection. They drew more blood and ran a CAT scan of my brain just in case. They tried a different nausea medication and this seemed to work. They kept me for a while, made me eat jello and I was released on Saturday.

I was happy to be home and resting in my own bed. My goodness, hospitals are so incredibly noisy...the LAST place one can actually rest! I was grateful that Kate had spent the night at a friends house and they took her to her track meet at Mt. Sac. She ran the 800m, which was only her 3rd time ever running the 800m and she took 5th place and got a medal! I am so very proud of her, but so bummed I wasn't there to see her and cheer for her! She's been going through her own battles lately between her surgery, strep throat, ear infections, etc. but she's been giving 100% and I'm so proud of her! Can you tell?? :)

Well, Wednesday, April 1st is my next chemo treatment. I'm going to be talking with them to find out if there are different meds we can use to help me through the nausea better and my migraines, so I'm hoping they come up with something.

I do have a confession to make. On Friday, on our way down to the ER, I was praying to God, asking Him if He could just, please, give me a break...just a little one. That I absolutely couldn't handle the pain in my head anymore. I instantly felt guilty for that. First off, I know God wasn't giving me the pain, nor has He given me cancer. There are so many more people out there suffering much, much more than me and I realize that I CAN handle this. I had a few minutes, ok hours, of weakness there, but I'm going to try not to let that happen again. Besides, I know God heard me, because I happened to get the Head of ER doctor waiting on me...and he was there again when I went back...so God gave me the best doctor I could get. So, thank you God, for looking after me.

Love & Blessings,
Lisa

Taking Matthew to school!

Yes! I was actually feeling good enough to take Matthew to school today! I got to get him dressed, comb his crazy hair, get his cereal...and pack his little lunchbox for Lunch Bunch! I know, I know parents do it every day, right? No big deal..only today, it was. Believe me, I've had those days when I've been impatient with him and frustrated at the craziness of how sometimes mornings can be...but today, I relished it! I dropped him off at school and got the best hug from him and the cutest little smile...ahhh! Made my heart melt.

I am happy because I still have a full week before my next treatment, so I'm hoping to get some fresh air, do a little reading and spend time with my babies. :)

Hope everyone has a great day!
Love & Blessings,
Lisa

March 23, 2009

Ok, so I'm slowly starting to return to the land of the living. Very rough weekend. Seriously, I think every single pore hurt! Still can't seem to get away from the nausea for some reason. I spent the entire weekend in bed and away from my sweet kids :( Poor Kaitlyn came down with strep and a bilateral ear infection and little Matthew hasn't been too bad, just a little cough. Even though I kept them (mostly) at arms length, my throat is hurting, which can't be real good. But, I'm drinking fluids and will keep aware if it gets any worse.

I'm really glad I got my Blackberry because friends & family have been checking in and saying hi to me the last several days and that makes me smile to know you guys are thinking of me.

Scot's been a trooper. Matthew's been his little buddy this last week. I'm so greatful they have such a bond and love to be together!

Just want to say thanks for all the good wishes & prayers! Keep them comin'!!!!

Love & Blessings!
Lisa

A quick update

Hey everyone! Thank you Suzi for updating my blog for me. The last two days have been difficult, but today is a little better. Still nauseous, which I got some different meds for and my migraine is still hanging on but not quite a "10" yet.

I think Suzi caught you all up to date. Only one more thing is that I also have to start giving myself injections in my tummy about 4 days before my next treatment. This will hopefully incourage my bone marrow to produce more white cells. If my count gets too low, they will hold off on chemo and put me in the hospital until the are up enough to continue with treatment. So, I would much rather the shots work!

I have to say that I honestly didn't realize how much is involved with chemo and how live changing it is. I kinda just thought, get chemo, get sick, hair falls out, etc., etc. but we found out its much more than that. Nothing I can't handle though!

I see quite a few people are reading my blog, but not commenting back. I would REALLY appreciate hearing back from all of you...just say hi, or something silly or what you are up to...anything really, ok? I would LOVE it! Oh and you can either sign up for an account (it's free) in order to get my updates, or you can just comment me as anonymous and then sign your name in the body of the comment so I know who it's from.

Well, I'm worn out, so I'm gonna go get some rest. Thanks for all the continued prayers!

Love & Blessings!
Lisa

Lisa's Results

Hi, this is Suzi and I am a friend of Lisa's. Lisa asked if I wouldn't mind posting her update this time as she knows some of you are waiting for the results. It's been two very long days for Lisa. The results of the scans showed that her bones are clear of cancer as well as her major organs. This is truly a praise. The concern is that the cancer is in her Vascular system. So, as she explained to me, it it in the blood which means it can travel any where and they can not track that so, the plan of attack is going to be a more aggressive plan than she had thought. The plan will be for Lisa to have four rounds of chemo, the next one being April 1st and then she will go in for chemo weekly for 16 weeks. Then she will revisit the prospect of another surgery, radiation and more chemo. So, this will be an aggressive attack on her body. There are a couple of other factors that cause her complications in treatment. First, Lisa has asthma and yesterday at chemo she had an acute attack, which took an extra half hour while they gave her shots of steroids and gained control of her breathing so that they could continue. Then this morning Lisa had a migraine and Scot had to take her into the ER to which she had just got home around 4 this afternoon. She is really exhausted as I am sure you can understand. She is holding up very well and is an inspiration to me. Things we can be praying for are:

-for her immune system to hold up, with chemo she has to be very careful of germs and she
needs her white counts to stay high for each treatment
-that she recovers from each treatment quickly, she is a mom who desires to keep things as
normal for her children as possible
-that these migraines decrease and that she will not have asthma attacks that further
challenge her
-for their family and for strength,energy and health

Lisa thanks you so much for your love and concern. She will post again as soon as she has rested up a bit from yesterday and today.

The day it all begins...

Well, today is the day! I find out the results of my bone scan & CAT scan. Also, I will be getting my first round of chemo today. For some reason, I'm not nervous at all. One day at a time, right? Ok, well wish me luck! I'll let you all know how it goes!

Ciao!

My Story....to date (cont'd)

Part 2

On January 26, 2009, it was confirmed. I had breast cancer in my left breast. After that, it was a bit of a blur. I remember telling my 16 year old daughter, Kaitlyn that it wasn't good news. I don't remember if I actually said "cancer" at that time but she knew what it meant. I remember calling my mom and her being so very upset. After all, they'd already lost my brother 32 years before, almost to the day, from cancer. After that, it was a bunch of doctor appts., including a plastic surgeon. That's right, the doctor that told me I had cancer, was suggesting a double mastectomy and having my ovaries removed. This sounded a bit drastic to me. They suggested genetic testing, which I did...but said it would take up to a month to get those results back. If they came back positive they wanted to take both breasts and ovaries for sure. The only problem was, I didn't have a month to wait for surgery.

About 2 weeks passed and guess what, yep I felt another lump. This time under my arm. I had already gotten a second opinion about my breast cancer and felt more comfortable with my new doctor. So, I had Dr. Nora take a look (or feel) at the second lump. He immediately ordered a biopsy on the lymph node. That came back positive as well. His suggestion was that we just do a lumpectomy on the mass in my breast and remove the lymph node involved and he would then map the cancer and we would discuss what to do from there.

So, on February 17, 2009, I had surgery. They removed the mass from my breast and it turns out it had spread to 5 of the 8 lymph nodes located in the breast and to an additional node under my arm. Surgery was what they consider a success. I've been recovering just fine from that. Some pain and numbness and lots of fatigue, but that's to be expected. I went back to the surgeon a week later and then a week after that and I'm healing nicely. The doctor was happy with my progress, but said that without question, I will need chemotherapy & radiation.

Since then, I have been to two separate oncologists: one for hematology (chemo) and one for radiology (radiation). My oncologist that will be handling my chemo, is worried that it may have spread beyond my lymph nodes at this point. Supposedly, all the signs point to that....whatever that means. So, I was scheduled for a bone scan and an full body CAT scan last week. I am supposed to get the results tomorrow when I see my oncologist and the plan, as of right now, is to start chemo then as well. I guess depending on the results, he will decide an exact schedule. As far as I know, I will be getting treatment every other week for 20-24 weeks....if it hasn't spread. Then after that, 7 weeks of daily radiation, to stop the actual breast cancer from spreading.

In all this time, I've not 'freaked out', cried, been scared, nervous..nothing. I'm not exactly sure why. I know I'm not in denial. I'm well aware that I have breast cancer and am able to talk about it with friends and family. Some of my friends have even said how great I sound or how strong I am. I don't look at it that way. I've thought about it and I'm really ok with it. With having cancer I mean. My take on it is, well, if it's me, then maybe, just maybe that means someone else doesn't have to go through it. I'm not afraid of it or the treatment. In fact, I've asked my doctors if I really NEED to have chemo. I mean, if it hasn't spread, then how will they know if I'm responding to it, right? Answer is, they won't. They have no idea. They won't know until the cancer comes back.

Ok, I do have one worry...or two...my kids. My darling Kaitlyn and my adorable Matthew. I truly don't want them to see me go through chemo and what it will do to me. Matthew won't understand it at all and it will be so rough on Kate. The last 1 1/2 years they've watched me with my severe migraines and on heavy meds, I can't tell you what that did to them. I lost all that time with them. I don't want them to now have to deal with this! Ya, ya, I know, kids are resilient. If I do this, it might give me more time with them, right? BUT, will it be quality time? It's a question that really can't be answered and I know this. You have to admit though, it's a good question, right? Anyway, that's my worry, my kids....everything else...I can handle!

I realize God didn't do this to me. Although I have to admit, sometimes I do wonder why you never hear of murderers or child predators dying from cancer. A special person made me think the other day...that maybe this isn't a "test" or "trial" for me, maybe this is more about others and what I can do for them. I really love that thought.

I have amazing friends and family that will be there for me and be praying for me. Everyone is asking me what they can do for me, but really, I just want everyone to count their blessings and hug their loved ones just a little bit tighter next time their in your arms...especially the little ones!

I will keep my blog updated. I would love to hear from everyone...even just a hello!

Love & Many Blessings!

Lisa

My Story....to date.

Part 1

So, you know how amazing it feels to have your 3 year old run up to you and give you a huge hug? The best feeling ever...right? Well, that is exactly what my son did one day shortly before Christmas this last year. He'd done it dozens of times before, but this time was different, this time...it hurt. I flinched a bit, but not enough to end the glorious hug I was receiving from Matthew. Once he turned around and took off running, as 3 year olds often do, I immediately put my hand where I felt the pain. I didn't have to search at all, there was a large lump in my left breast. At first I thought, well that's weird! I'd had swollen glands before, but this was much harder and really hurt. I didn't put much thought into it after that, I just hurried to catch up with Matthew, who by this time was yelling after me, "Can't catch me!".

The next morning, I woke up and felt a dull pain. Again, I felt my left breast..yep, the lump was still there. Oh well, I had other things to think about. I was still dealing with my migraines and because of all the constant meds I'd had over the last year, I now had high blood pressure to deal with. I knew I had a neurologist appt. coming up and after that, if the lump was still there, I'd make an appt. with my general. Another week went by. I had the appt. with my neurologist, where at that time, my blood pressure was so high, they made me an appt. to see my general doctor.

Finally, on January 14, 2009, I went to see my general to do something about my continued high blood pressure. I was pretty upset about this because I knew it was caused from all those migraine meds and nothing else. Now I would have to take another medication for BP...not happy! So, I spoke to the dr. about my BP and "..oh yeah, by the way, I've had this lump in my breast for about 3 weeks now, can you check it for me?". Which of course, he did. He didn't have to search for it either, it was very obvious. He asked me if I'd ever had a mammogram, which just turning 40 in November, I had not. He told me he was scheduling me for one right away. "How long before I get an appointment do you think?" I asked. "You are going now, immediately! I need to you drive to Kaiser in Panorama City, to get an emergency mammogram & ultrasound. They will be waiting for you." I'm thinking, ok wait, I was just supposed to see you about my BP, now I'm having an emergency mammo & ultrasound? I called my husband Scot and explained it to him. He left work immediately and met me at the hospital. We ended up being there for about 4 hours. I had 3 different sets of mammograms taken and 2 ultrasounds. By the time we left the doctors office, it was obvious I had a large mass (apricot size), but we didn't know what it was. I think at that point, I knew.

I was scheduled for a biopsy for the following week. It wasn't super fun, but not so horrible either. I wasn't nervous...it is what it is...right? The doctor said it was 24-48 hours before we would get results. Well, this was a Thursday and if they didn't get back to me on Friday, then I would be waiting all weekend. Scot took the call Friday night, I wasn't even home. He told me later that night that the doctor wanted to see us first thing on Monday. I remember him crying when he told me, but I didn't cry at all. I just kept saying, "It's ok!".

continued in Part 2